Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Someone recently asked what I do when I'm bored.

Sometimes I drop cats off tall buildings to see if the fluffy ones fare any better than the short haired or hairless ones.

I set up cameras on the ground around where I think the thing will land, so I can record the angle they hit and the reactions of the people around the target area. If they get up and run, it gives me some idea what direction in which to look for them, since live ones are reusable. Cadavers would work, but finding live cats is a lot easier than dead ones.

I've been working on little kitty parachutes, really just small versions of the ones nutjobs use to jump out of perfectly good airplanes. They work, but I have to find a better way to attach them than the tail. It really seems to make them angry, and if they land on a person, that person is scarred for life.

I tried a version the cat could control itself, and it worked great. Last I saw it, the cat was trying to catch a bird in the air. Or hitch a ride.

1 comment:

  1. You motherfucker. I want to drop your probably fat ass off a fucking building you Donald Trump cocksucking red-neck assfucker. Let's say me and you set up a meet-and-greet at the top of 30 Rockefeller in NY. It would be worth the trip to drop your incestuous, literally Mother-Fucking fat ass off with a parachute attached to your tiny fucking cock (after you've stiffened up by looking at your sister's flabby fucking tits) and having you wail "Let's make America Great Again" as you fall to what I hope will be a painful fucking death.