Missing pets

There seems to be a problem around here with pets going missing. I saw a car parked on the sidewalk, and just as I was wondering if there had been unplanned orgasm, and angry looking woman gets out of the car. "Well, we know who isn't getting hers" I thought. She did her rich bitch strut to the power pole on the corner, and stapled up a poster. That explained the bad parking, and the subject of missing cat explained the mood. On the same pole is a notice for another missing pet, and there have been others recently. Mostly pit bulls and cats.

One can only wonder what is going on around here. I have come up with several theories.

1. They found out their balls are only booked for a limited engagement.

2. Somebody is putting up pit bulls against cats. There is an underground fight club that somebody hasn't invited me to yet. If you know where, we need to talk.

3. Free meat. That doesn't smell like beef on the grill next door.

4. The Dog (and Cat) Supply Store has had an inventory shortage. With only two oriental restaurants in the area, that doesn't seem likely.

5. Somebody is shaving them and they are hiding in the woods out of embarrassment.

6. Cats and dogs, living together...

7. Somewhere, in some little town, it is literally raining cats and dogs. They had to some from somewhere.

8. They're feeding them to the killer hamsters, bulking the hamster up before its' next fight.

If you know what is going on, let me know. I need new nightmares.