Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I've been thinking about suggesting taxidermy to the wife. I've seen a lot of dead animals, a lot of mounted heads, and I wonder why. I've always liked the Smithsonian works, but your usual display is a head on a wall in some den. Not being a hunter, it's always confused me, the way a beast in a way that suggests it died in horrible, violent combat with the hunter, nearly killing the man, when the reality is the beast was probably sniped from half a mile away.

And then there are the deer hunters, who like to put the antlers on the wall, which makes sense in a way, being proud to have won the head stick lottery against all the other hunters. There isn't anything left of the rest of the animal, it's hopefully been eaten if the hunter has any respect for his kill and a good sausage grinder.

I've been looking for affordable mannequins for a long time, for a joke I've wanted to play for years. I won't reveal it here, but the theme is similar. You use the shapes to suggest the beast is involved in something impossible or unusual, such as carrying a large rock, several times it's size. Care could be taken to insure each display is entertaining. Nothing like a museum display, that while accurate and beautiful is still boring as hell. Something with little to no accuracy at all, just make it clear what the animal was and the message it's trying to get across.

Certain times of year, deer are in plentiful supply. When you find one, take a few pictures, preserve the scene, then have the animal, or what's left of it, prepared and put into a tableau of sorts. Maybe put something where the tire tracks are if it went that way, or maybe a piano being dropped on it's head if it was hit head-first.

If I had a house, my front yard would look like an industrial accident scene, there would be so much blood. Deer, maybe real roadkill from the neighborhood for real screams from the neighborhood. Birds, 'possum, anything dead can be made into a great Halloween scene. All I have to do is take some classes and gas up the car. The deer can double as reindeer, elf costumes can go on other things, the piano can be wrapped like a present.

Anybody know where I can get some mannequins, cheap?

No comments:

Post a Comment